he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
