i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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