I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
