big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
