the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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