Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
The uberlube is also flammable
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
