Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
