apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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