Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize