She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
