Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You may now shotgun with the bride
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
