i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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