Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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