Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Randomize
