Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
