i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i love accidental penises.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize