allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We have started to decorate penises.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize