You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
