Cold hands, warm shart.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
