I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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