I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
