All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
