god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
