To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize