i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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