just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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