her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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