I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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