we have pet lesbian snakes
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
