she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
