Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
