people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
