You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
