Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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