Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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