Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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