Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
