I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just had sex on a roof
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
