Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
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