I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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