i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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