i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
