If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Randomize
