I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize