My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
