ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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