soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
