So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
