You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
MIDGETS
????
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
