and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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