I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
