Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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