I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize