Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
