I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
