She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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