If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
