i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
