If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize