is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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