i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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