where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
