I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i came on her dog
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize