i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
