i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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