i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
