So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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