Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
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