I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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