just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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