Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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