No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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