I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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