trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
My balls are so social today.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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