How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
