i already hear my dad disowning me
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
