My boss' voice literally gives me gas
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
