The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
