everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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