You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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