Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
her vagine was all disorganized.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
