They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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