Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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