Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
